Why banks make me itchy with self loathing.

My Mom said to me today, " Court, you always have problems with your banks, why are you so bad with money?" I replied " Mom, I don't fucking know." Then I began to think about why. I do not recall coming to a conclusion, I just sat on my love seat and stared at a stain on the floor for a while because I went into self preservation mode because I was unable to handle such criticism.Why am I so bad these things? Banks are supposed to make things easier for you to manage your finances. For me it is the polar opposite. I seem to forget that most Financial institutions have rules, and that just because I want them to, and I smile a lot does not mean that they will break those rules for me. Today was a prime example of that. 


On my lunch break I decide to go deposit my check so I can go buy my boyfriend the Ben Sherman messenger bag he wants. I trot off down 10th street with my tons of money,oblivious as to what lies in store for me. I arrive at the bank. This is where all my dreams come to a crushing halt. I enter bank, fill out deposit slip and deduct the amount of money I think will be appropriate for tonight's retail therapy. Approaching the front desk, I smile big and cheesy, in hindsight I realize this probably makes me look creepy and like I set puppies on fire for fun. I make a mental note to stop doing this. I give the teller my slip and explain to him what I want, it went something like this."Hi, I would like to deposit this check, have 100.00 given back to me, then re deposit 50.00 so that tomorrow when my student loan is automatically withdrawn from my account it wont be overdrawn" :teller cocks head and stares at my huge smiling face: " I don't know if I understand you". I explain it again, " I want to take out $100.00 of my money, then keep $50.00 for me and re-deposit $50.00 into your lovely institution so that I can avoid your heinous overdraft fees"  "Ms, you have $9.00 in your account, I cannot deposit this as cash and I cannot give you any of your money right now" " You will have to wait until Monday" " Because I am a dream crushing, Friday night ruining, soul sucking bitch (that is what he said to me in my mind). It took me a minute to digest this. All I kept thinking was, "but i want money". I tried a new tactic," Well, ok then, tha'ts no big deal, I don't need the money anyway. I have enough'. He knew I was bluffing because he had all of my account information in front of him and clearly, I had none. I walked away with an an overly confident gait, which I can assume looked completely ridiculous. I was just told that I had no money, I was not going to be given any more for three days, and would receive an overdraft fee tomorrow morning. My face said, " FUCK YOU, YOU RUINED MY WEEKEND" my walk said " THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME EVERYTHING I EVER WANTED" Something was out of balance, and it wasn't my walk. It was my mind. 
This is why I hate banks.