Mountain Dew should stop fucking with it's formulas. The "throwback" is such for a reason, because no one likes it. My taste buds can not acclimate to this "real" sugar bullshit. Give me back my high fructose corn syrup please. Michael and I bought two entire cases of throwback shit dew and I cant drink it because it tastes like rusty nails and hopelessness. I know high fructose corn syrup is bad for you because they have commercials trying to promote how good it is for you. That means it generally causes cancer. Maybe they have a partnership with the Cancer causing people. Maybe the Cancer peoples numbers are down or something. They are all " start using real sugar so people will realize high fructose corn syrup is better. People cant live without it even though it causes tumors the size of Hulk Hogans Biceps". So then Mountain Dew is all, ok whatever you say we will make our once delicious chemically soft drink with REAL sugar, just stop pressuring us." Now everyone realizes how great high fructose corn syrup is and they are all "this is so worth maybe getting cancer one day." " Fuck real sugar, I never want to be without my corn syrup." I mean it worked on me, other people have to feel this way too.
I love the shit out of chemicals. I tried to do the whole organic thing but I was just not buying it. Why try to outrun time by being super healthy and not ingesting pesticides. You cant even see pesticides so I mean, whose to say they are even on my non organic Granny smith apple. No one that's who. I am going to die anyway, I might die later this afternoon, who knows. Eating organically is not going to save me from getting hit by a car or mauled by a starving deer. I'm sorry it's just not. Organic food is also not going to stop a serial killer from breaking into my home and raping and murdering me for fun. He would not break in see a bag of organic oranges on my table and be all 'shit, she eats organically I better get out of here, organic eaters have super powerful strength. I am just a little baby serial killer with a knifegun combo. I cant possibly overpower her." That would never happen, if anything it would probably piss the serial killer off more because he HATES organic everything and would then murder me twice for bringing back painful childhood memories of not having fucking waffles in the freezer one time when he was 5.
See basically it comes down to; organic bad. Chemicals good.
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